In my fantasy world I imagine the pilgrims time-traveling to the 21st century. I hear them murmuring in a corner. They are saying, "What in the heck is green bean casserole?"
Back to reality, I am grateful for abundant blessings (not so much for green bean casserole). But in another fantasy, I would be with everyone I love around a table and the feast would be relationships. How very blessed I am with family and friends who fill my life with joy!
Thursday, November 28, 2013
Monday, November 18, 2013
Friends, Farewells and Flashbacks
Yesterday was our last Sunday meeting with the Seattle Church of Christ. Well, it was our last time as residents of the area and official members of this congregation. Hopefully we'll meet with them again, but next time as visitors.
I was holding it together nicely until Greg got up to do the closing announcements and started saying outrageously nice things about us, and James, who was leading singing, said he was "calling an audible" and changed the last song. He asked the congregation to "stand and face the Brumleys" while he led them in "I Love You with the Love of the Lord." That's when I lost it without hope of gaining any composure or shred of dignity--naturally, it was the moment when all eyes were on us. I'm an ugly crier.
Suddenly all these faces held memories of times shared. Every previous Sunday I was living in the moment: focused on worshipping God with people I loved and whose faith encouraged me. I was present with each person I spoke with. But not yesterday. Yesterday was flashbacks of specific times of shared laughter and tears, hope and answered prayers:
early morning trips across Lake Washington with Ellen; after school coffee with Amanda; kitchen table prayers with Joanna and Mie; words of wisdom from Ruthann; sitting in the infusion room with brave Kari over the months she was fighting cancer; teaching the 3rd and 4th grade class with Sallee and Jeff; Starbucks chats with Alcides and Leslie; dreaming and planning with Daren and Karla; watching Jake and Lauren's budding romance and then the wedding; family nights with Mike and Laura and Matthew and Maria; a hundred meals, rescued projects and help offered by Jerry and Shanti; Alison's ever brilliant, cheerful assistance with her unlimited energy and skill: watching Greg and Lisa raise their wonderful children and grow to be trusted for leadership in the church--those I left out of this list are not left out of my heart, but....
You must be getting bored. I could go on for hours! But a rush of memories arose with every face before me. I've heard that just before people die their lives flash before them. I think there are just moments in time that hold a significance that produces the same effect--friends, farewells, and flashbacks.
I was holding it together nicely until Greg got up to do the closing announcements and started saying outrageously nice things about us, and James, who was leading singing, said he was "calling an audible" and changed the last song. He asked the congregation to "stand and face the Brumleys" while he led them in "I Love You with the Love of the Lord." That's when I lost it without hope of gaining any composure or shred of dignity--naturally, it was the moment when all eyes were on us. I'm an ugly crier.
Suddenly all these faces held memories of times shared. Every previous Sunday I was living in the moment: focused on worshipping God with people I loved and whose faith encouraged me. I was present with each person I spoke with. But not yesterday. Yesterday was flashbacks of specific times of shared laughter and tears, hope and answered prayers:
early morning trips across Lake Washington with Ellen; after school coffee with Amanda; kitchen table prayers with Joanna and Mie; words of wisdom from Ruthann; sitting in the infusion room with brave Kari over the months she was fighting cancer; teaching the 3rd and 4th grade class with Sallee and Jeff; Starbucks chats with Alcides and Leslie; dreaming and planning with Daren and Karla; watching Jake and Lauren's budding romance and then the wedding; family nights with Mike and Laura and Matthew and Maria; a hundred meals, rescued projects and help offered by Jerry and Shanti; Alison's ever brilliant, cheerful assistance with her unlimited energy and skill: watching Greg and Lisa raise their wonderful children and grow to be trusted for leadership in the church--those I left out of this list are not left out of my heart, but....
You must be getting bored. I could go on for hours! But a rush of memories arose with every face before me. I've heard that just before people die their lives flash before them. I think there are just moments in time that hold a significance that produces the same effect--friends, farewells, and flashbacks.
Thursday, November 14, 2013
Make Someone Smile
For several years Friday afternoons were a special time in our family. It was a day when homework could wait because of the weekend ahead, so when the kids got home from school I'd say, "Let's go make someone smile!" They knew what that meant and always looked forward to this weekly adventure. (OK, it could have been the carrot at the end of the stick. When this tradition first began, I'd add, "And then we'll go get ice cream and make ourselves smile!")
The venue for this adventure in smile-gathering was our local nursing home. We would enter the large double doors of the facility to find stooped residents shuffling past wheelchairs occupied by those who could no longer shuffle. The magic occurred when any of the elderly residents caught sight of children in their midst. Then their faces would light up and hands would reach out to touch and perhaps detain a little one for a chat.
Suddenly a new energy entered the room. There was quiet laughter, teasing, offers of little candies, a sweet competition for the attention of a child. Stories were told: "I remember when my son was your age...."
I watched my children learning valuable life lessons in this atmosphere. They learned the social skills of initiating a conversation, asking questions to keep the dialogue flowing, and they learned to say, "Thank you for telling me that story. I'll see you again next week." They learned to overcome their shyness and fear of reaching out to someone they didn't know and had little in common with. They learned compassion and others centeredness. They learned the power of having something to offer just by being present and friendly. They learned that making someone smile is a very worthwhile goal.
The venue for this adventure in smile-gathering was our local nursing home. We would enter the large double doors of the facility to find stooped residents shuffling past wheelchairs occupied by those who could no longer shuffle. The magic occurred when any of the elderly residents caught sight of children in their midst. Then their faces would light up and hands would reach out to touch and perhaps detain a little one for a chat.
Suddenly a new energy entered the room. There was quiet laughter, teasing, offers of little candies, a sweet competition for the attention of a child. Stories were told: "I remember when my son was your age...."
I watched my children learning valuable life lessons in this atmosphere. They learned the social skills of initiating a conversation, asking questions to keep the dialogue flowing, and they learned to say, "Thank you for telling me that story. I'll see you again next week." They learned to overcome their shyness and fear of reaching out to someone they didn't know and had little in common with. They learned compassion and others centeredness. They learned the power of having something to offer just by being present and friendly. They learned that making someone smile is a very worthwhile goal.
Monday, November 11, 2013
Holiday Traditions
Years ago I was impressed by an article I read about the importance of traditions in a home. It emphasized the role that family traditions play in making children feel secure. Being able to depend on familiar, happy routines builds memories and shapes a child's world and values.
The article went on to say that traditions--especially holiday traditions-- are often absent in single-parent homes where the mom or dad is burdened with just making it through the day. They are prone to depend on grandparents or other friends or relatives to supply holiday festivity. It leaves something important lacking in the development of the child.
Whether the article was accurate or not, it impressed me enough to make me evaluate our own family traditions. Although I had both a mom and a dad, I grew up in a home where traditions were pretty much absent. We relied on aunts and uncles for holiday activities. Usually we didn't even have a Christmas tree and Thanksgiving was never hosted at our home.
Today, among my favorite memories are the traditions we created with our own children at Thanksgiving. We almost always had 30-35 people around a vastly extended table. Friends and family gathered early and swarmed in the kitchen preparing the feast.
While the mom's and I cooked, we also wrote a script for a skit to be performed by the kids after dinner. The rehearsal kept them occupied and all were little hams looking forward to their moment of stardom.
We also prepared place cards for each person at the table. These had no names on them. Rather, they had descriptions or connections to events that identified everyone individually. Things like, "Hole in One"' for the golfer who had enjoyed such celebrity, or "Sweet 16" for the lucky teen who turned that significant age in that year. You get the idea.
When the table was finally filled with food and people, and before the prayer, we went around the table one by one to each say what we were thankful for in that year. Often tears flowed and the food got cold while we rehearsed our blessings, but no one cared. it was a highlight of the day.
Usually we invited others for dessert in the evening--friends who had their own plans, but wanted to be together on this special day. This was the time for the kids performance. The adults were a most appreciative audience!
My favorite script was the year we had a Charlie Brown skit. A forlorn turkey came to seek counsel from Lucy acting as psychiatrist for the day and sitting behind a booth that posted a fee of 5 cents. The turkey's mantra was "I don't want to die!" It's a wonder we didn't traumatize the kids with that one! Lucy's advice was basically, "Get over it!"
Traumatized or not we chalked up another year of wonderful Thanksgiving memories and hopefully a little extra security for our kids.
The article went on to say that traditions--especially holiday traditions-- are often absent in single-parent homes where the mom or dad is burdened with just making it through the day. They are prone to depend on grandparents or other friends or relatives to supply holiday festivity. It leaves something important lacking in the development of the child.
Whether the article was accurate or not, it impressed me enough to make me evaluate our own family traditions. Although I had both a mom and a dad, I grew up in a home where traditions were pretty much absent. We relied on aunts and uncles for holiday activities. Usually we didn't even have a Christmas tree and Thanksgiving was never hosted at our home.
Today, among my favorite memories are the traditions we created with our own children at Thanksgiving. We almost always had 30-35 people around a vastly extended table. Friends and family gathered early and swarmed in the kitchen preparing the feast.
While the mom's and I cooked, we also wrote a script for a skit to be performed by the kids after dinner. The rehearsal kept them occupied and all were little hams looking forward to their moment of stardom.
We also prepared place cards for each person at the table. These had no names on them. Rather, they had descriptions or connections to events that identified everyone individually. Things like, "Hole in One"' for the golfer who had enjoyed such celebrity, or "Sweet 16" for the lucky teen who turned that significant age in that year. You get the idea.
When the table was finally filled with food and people, and before the prayer, we went around the table one by one to each say what we were thankful for in that year. Often tears flowed and the food got cold while we rehearsed our blessings, but no one cared. it was a highlight of the day.
Usually we invited others for dessert in the evening--friends who had their own plans, but wanted to be together on this special day. This was the time for the kids performance. The adults were a most appreciative audience!
My favorite script was the year we had a Charlie Brown skit. A forlorn turkey came to seek counsel from Lucy acting as psychiatrist for the day and sitting behind a booth that posted a fee of 5 cents. The turkey's mantra was "I don't want to die!" It's a wonder we didn't traumatize the kids with that one! Lucy's advice was basically, "Get over it!"
Traumatized or not we chalked up another year of wonderful Thanksgiving memories and hopefully a little extra security for our kids.
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