Agony and Ecstasy and Easter

          Artists and decrators will tell you that using colors opposite to one another on the color wheel gives you maximum impact.  Have you ever noticed this is true emotionally as well?  When you are crying at a funeral, and someone shares a funny story about the deceased, you tend to laugh harder.  When you are all worked up with some fear, and suddenly blessed relief appears, you can burst into sobs as the emotions overlap before the calm of acceptance sets in. 
          The cross combines the most intense emotions of any other event in history--agony and ecstacy.  There is a terrible, piercing grief in knowing that it is my sin that forced Jesus to endure the punishment I deserve.  The beatings, the spitting, the mocking, the crown of thorns, the shredded back slammed down on a rough wooden cross, the enormous nails pounded through innocent flesh, the cross lifted and dropped into a prepared hole and braced with hammered supports as his wrists and feet bore the impact of every thud--all my fault.  Agony to know his agony was because of me. 
          And then there is the ecstacy of knowing I'm saved, guilt-free because the penalty has been paid and perfect justice rendered.  The ecstacy of being lavished with an indescribable love by the triune God and the guarantee of eternal life with him in heaven--this is joy beyond all imagination!
          Perhaps only a parent can begin to understand the agony of a Father who refrained from intervention while his child was being mercilously tortured.   It is beyond understanding that God found that the cross also held ecstacy because of his love for us and the truimph over Satan.
Ephesians 1:7-9
In him we have  redemption through his blood,the forgiveness of sins, in accordance with the riches of God's grace that he lavished on us.  With all wisdom and understanding, he made known to us the mystery of his will according to his good pleasure, which he purposed in Christ....
          "Grace that he lavished on us..."--what an understatement!  There are simply no words to describe!  This is ecstacy for us!  And for God?  "...according to his good pleasure....:  How can it be?
          The Bible records no cry of pain for the excruciating physical torture Jesus endured, which is contrary to every human instinct.  Perhaps he did cry out--some piercing animal wail as the nails were driven into his flesh, but the Bible only records one sound of agony.  In the story of the cross in Matthew 27:46  it says, "About three in the afternoon Jesus cried out in a loud voice, '....My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?'"  His greatest agony was a break in his connection with the Father because he had embodied my sins.
I Peter 2:24
He himself bore our sins in his body on the cross, so that we might die to sins and live for righteousness; by his wounds you have been healed.
          Surely doing the will of God brought Jesus fulfillment, but it also brought him joy.
Hebrews 12:2
For the joy set before him he endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God.
          Jesus was happy to die for us.  What he accomplished by dying on the cross supercedes every other divine act, every miracle from creation on.  That it was worth  it to him, that he was happy to do it in spite of dreading it to the point of sweating drops of blood (Luke 22:44), is incomprehensible.
          There is an agony, a brokeness when you fall in love with Jesus and then accept as fully as you can the price he had to pay for your sins.  But there is great ecstacy in accepting his forgiveness and friendship!  This is ecstacy:
Colossians 1 19, 20
For God was pleased  to have all his fullness dwell in him [Jesus], and through him to reconcile to himself all things, whether things on earth or things in heaven, by making peace through his blood, shed on the cross.
          It is great that a holiday forces awareness on a sceptical world that we believe Jesus lived and died on this earth to free us from the penalty of our sins, and that he was resurrected to give us new life.  Certainly the heart of every individual Christian celebrates this fact daily.  We have the blessing of celebrating together every time we share communion.  And now we have a yearly reminder that reaches beyond our private devotions and beyond the fellowship we share because of his death.  Happy Easter!

Love You Forever

I expect I'll grow tired of you
   about when I'm tired of breathing.
I'll be weary of hearing your voice
   when my love of music is fleeting.
Your name will stop stirring my soul
   right after all words lose their meaning.
Your ideas will bore me to tears
   as soon as my heart stops beating.

Creativity and Bears

          I was wandering through an art store--not a gallery, but a store where artist's buy their supplies.  I love stores like that.  I stroll aisle to aisle in covetous reverie.  I don't covet the merchandise.  I covet the ability to use it.
          I can usually spot an artist (but only if it's a woman--it's the asemetrical haircut, the natural fabrics and drape of her clothes, the obviously handmade jewelry) and I'll walk up to that  stranger and ask, "Are you an artist?"  And if they affirm my conjecture, I'll dig deeper to learn their background and the tools of their craft: easel, sculpting knife, forge, loom?
          Art appreciation flows from our inate love of beauty.  But the ability to create art is in another catagory all together.  My artistic ability is pretty much limited to the apprection side.  How very sad for someone who would love to fill galleries with paintings or gardens with sculptures.  We all have to face our limitations.
         I love hanging around artists.  I am a little in awe of them, but I'm always secretly hoping that any tiny bit of their talent will ooze into the atmosphere and miraculously be absorbed by me, and the next day I might find myself not just inspired with a vision for some artistic creation, but endowed with the talent to produce it.
          I once overheard a dinner table discussion--more of a debate--about the value of art.  On the one side was a proponent of the arts and on the other a guy who was practically an ascetic.  The denouncer of art took the position depicting art as frivolous with the artist's effort being a waste of time and the acquistion of art stemming from worldliness.  Wow.
          The coup de grace, in my opinion, came from the art lover when he said: "We love art because we love beauty.  We love beauty and possess creativity because we possess the qualities of God.  It was in the context of the creation story that the Bible tells us we are made in the image of God.  (Genesis 1:26)  Bears don't decorate their caves because they have no souls."

Exodus 35:30-35
"...See the Lord has chosen Bezalel son of Uri, the son of Hur, of the tribe of Judah, and he has filled him with the Spirit of God, with wisdom, with understanding, with knowledge and with all kinds of skills--to make artistic designs for work in silver, gold and bronze, to cut and set stones, , to work in wood and to engage in all kinds of artistic crafts....He has filled them with skill to do all kinds of work as engravers, designers, embroiderers in blue, purple and scarlet yarn and fine linen, and weavers--all of them skilled workers and designers...."

Prayers and Praise

          When my children were small, I often omitted the word "prayer" when I suggested we take something to God.  Instead, I would say, "Let's talk to God about this," and then we would pray.  I tried to use language that was not lofty and never used rote phrases in my eagerness to help them understand what it meant to have a realtionship with God. 
          My own prayers were mirriors of this rather casual, conversational approach to prayer.  It was, I am sure, a reaction to the stiff formality of the religious experiences of my youth.  I don't think God was offended by this phase of my spiritual development, but I think I was missing something. 
          While reading the Psalms one day, it occurred to me that there were praise words absent from my vocabulary--words like: "exhalted," "holy," "Almighty," "majestic," "sacred," "glorious," "triumphant," "eternal," "enthroned."
          I decided to begin my prayers with praise incorporating some of these words into each supplication.  (Supplication--another word I avoided).  It was awkward at first.  These words felt unfamiliar and even contrived on my tongue.  But with practice, I came to see that I needed these words to even come close to expressing how great and wonderful God is.  And often, now, I am overcome with the awareness that there are not enough words nor enough meaning behind any words we know to offer God the praise he so fully deserves.  

Psalm 145:1-3
"I will exhalt you, my God the King; I will praise your name for ever and ever.  Everyday I will praise you and extol your name for ever and ever.  Great is the Lord and most worthy of praise; his greatness no one can fathom."

Love Languages

          I had gone with my friend to deliver her daughter to her first year of college.  After unloading all of her belongings into her second floor dorm room (first floor reserved for male freshmen), I went to the car to give mother and daughter some privacy for their goodbyes.
          While sitting outside that freshman dorm, I saw a mother, father and son bidding farewell.  The father and son were in a bear hug.  As the son turned away from his dad to embrace his mom I saw the dad do something so sweetly familiar to me that my eyes filled with tears. (How often had I seen my husband do this with our own kids)?  While the son hugged his mom, the dad reached into his back pocket and extracted his wallet.  By the time the son had broken the embrace with his mom and turned back to his dad, the dad had a fist full of bills extended in his son's direction.  Is this a universal way that dad's show love?
          Gary Chapman has written several books on love languages; he may have even coined the phrase.  A lot of Christian women are familiar with the topic.  I sometimes end up talking with some of them who complain that their husbands just will not learn their love languages!  Unmet expectations abound.  It doesn't seem emotionally healthy to me to put the onus on one side.
          Sure, it's wonderful, if everyone around you (and espcially those closest to you) know what makes you feel loved and kick into gear to "speak your language"--words of encouragement, gifts, quality time, whatever....  But it seems even more important to accept the love shown through the languages "spoken" by your friends and family.
          I wonder if that college freshman son knew his dad was giving him love in that outstretched hand full of money?  Even if he appreciated the cash, he may not have interpreted that action by understanding all the meaning that it embodied.  He may not have known the sacrifice, or the angst in his dad's heart wishing it could be more, or the continued desire to protect.
          How are you at interpreting the love shown to you by others?  Do you get stuck resenting the ways they fail to show you love instead of appreciating the ways that they do?

Romans 12:9, 10
Love must be sincere.  Hate what is evil; cling to what is good.  Be devoted to one another in love.  Honor one another above yourselves.                

Righteous Enough?

          I always feel sorry for the people to whom Jesus was speaking when he preached what we commonly call "the sermon on the mount."  I know, I know, they were blessed to hear such undiluted truth and I'm sure it led many of them to salvation and I really do like fantasizing about what it might have been like to have been there.  I wonder what his voice sounded like.  I wonder what inflections he used to punch home a point.  I wonder if everyone in the crowd felt he was locking eyes with only them through his entire oratory.
          Still, it must have felt like a shaming punch in the gut to sit and listen to a compellingly convincing speaker tell you that your righteousness is so far from God's expectations that you don't stand a chance of living up to them and, thereby making it to heaven.
          I've sat through many sermons feeling amazed that God had designed a lesson just for me and made several hundred other people listen, too, just because they showed up ar church that day.  Surely every tender heart in Jesus' hearing on the mount felt that he knew their life and thoughts specifically--and they were right!
           Imagine hearing that every standard of righteousness on which you had based your eternal security was inadequate.  Before, you had felt pretty good about yourself because you'd never murdered anybody, but then you find out you've earned a place in hell just for cursing someone.  (Matthew 5:21-22)  Jesus tells you that if there is unresolved conflict in your relationships, God doesn't even want to hear your prayers until you've done your part to set things right.  (Matthew 5:23-26)  You have always thought you'd get points with God for staying out of bed with someone else's spouse, and then Jesus lets you know that if you even lust in your heart, God counts it as adultery.  (Matthew 5:27-30) 
          He goes on to share that you shouldn't get divorced, you shouldn't make oaths, and you should never take vengence into your own hands.  And then, just to put the final nail in the coffin and bury all hope of personal righteousness, Jesus says you must love your enemies.  How many in his hearing do you think had ever accomplished that?  The climactic command issued by Jesus in chapter 5 is a blow no one can recover from:  "Be perfect, therefore, as your heavenly Father is perfect."  (Matthew 5:48)  This is the standard: perfection.  Nothing less will do.  The rest of his sermon that day in Matthew 6 and 7 only added to the discouraging list of human failings.
          So, here is why I feel sorry for Jesus' audience that day:  he'd just removed all hope that they could make it to heaven and he didn't go on to tell them that since their righteousness could never qualify them for salvation, he was going to pay the penalty for their sins with his death and guarantee their resurrection by his own.  They had to leave that day, convicted or in angry denial; intrigued to know more and continue following him or determined to discredit him if they could.

Colossians 1:12
...giving joyful thanks to the Father, who qualified you to share in the inheritance of his holy people in the kingdom of light.

Colossians 2:13, 14
When you were dead in your sins...God made you alive with Christ.  He forgave us all our sins, having canceled the charge of our legal indebtedness, which stood against us and condemned us; he has taken it away, by nailing it to the cross.

          We are so lucky to live this side of the cross--to know the happy ending of the story of salvation!  We are blessed not to be left hanging, wondering if the conclusion of the matter is that we will all get what we deserve--the eternal fires of hell.  We are beyond blessed to have access to the righteousness of Jesus instead of trying to be righteous enough to qualify for heaven on our own.

Matthew 13:17
For truly I tell you, many prophets and righteous people longed to see what you see but did not see it, and to hear what you hear but did not hear it.

Lucky us!

Who's Standing Over There?

           Jesus gave a scathing rebuke to the Pharisees when they asked for a sign that he was from God.  He addressed their entire generation when he reminded them of the repentace of the people of Nineveh.  Nineveh was the capital of Assyria and had the reputation for being the most vile enemies the Israelites had ever encountered.  Idolatrous and viciously cruel, when Jonah was sent to preach to them and call them to repent, he had no hope that they would respond favorably to his message.  In fact, he feared so for his life that he ran in the other direction causing God to intervene with a big, big fish!  (Jonah 1:17)
           When Jesus was reminding the Pharisees about that familiar story, he contrasted the  unexpectedly soft-hearted response of repentance that the Ninevites displayed, with the hard-hearted skepticism of the Pharisees.  What Jesus warned them about was judgment day.  He told them that when they stood before God, the people of Nineveh would stand up as witnesses against them. 
          When I think of the temptations I've given in to, I wonder who might be standing next to me on that Day?  Who will have resisted the same temptation in harder circumstances?  When I think of excuses I've made for not doing good, I think about people with greater impediments than mine who have pushed through and sacrificed for a righteous cause.
          I know judgment day doesn't work that way for the redeemed, but it is still a good motivating thought for me when I feel the odds are stacked against my righteousness in a way that gives me a "valid" excuse.

A God Who Seeks

Psalm 119:176
I have strayed like a lost sheep;  Seek your servant, for I have not forgotten your commands.

          Seeking God is a wonderful pursuit, ("...those who seek the Lord lack no good thing."  Psalm 34:10), but it is actually only in response to God seeking us that we finally turn in his direction to look for his will for our lives.  What an amazing love God has for us that he would come looking for us when we stray instead of leaving us to the painful consequences of our sins.  He could just say, "Good enough for you!" and he'd be right.  But he seeks us.
          In John 9, a blind man had been healed by Jesus.  Because he would not speak badly of Jesus for healing him on the Sabbath (that would be a bit ungrateful and disloyal, right?), the Pharisees revoked his right to enter the temple.  Verse 35 of this chapter says, "Jesus heard that they had thrown him out, and when he found him...."  How beautiful!  "When he found him...."
          It is so easy for us when we are straying to feel that we need to avoid God and that he's happy to disassociate from us.  Or,  when we are feeling rejected or persecuted for doing what is right to wonder where God is.  The truth is, in either case, he is looking for us, seeking us to draw us close to himself again. What a  wonderful Father!  What amazing love!
          But beyond God seeking us, is the freedom we can feel to ask God to seek us.  It's what David was doing in Pslam 119:176.  It shows what a depth and security David felt in his relationship with God.  Have you ever felt too weak to seek God?  Ask him to seek you.  He's really good at it!